Acceptance is a major theme in the book Confessions of a Closet Catholic. Justine is eleven years old, going on twelve and couldn’t be more confused with who is she as an individual. She definitely doesn’t feel accepted by her family. “One thing that gets me mad about my family is that they never take me seriously. That’s just one thing. I made a list once of all the things that get me down about my family. It’s pretty long, but here’s the top five: 1) My mother loves my sister more than me. 2 My dad loves my brother more than me. 3) My mother loves her miniature poodle, Bijoux, more than me. 4) Mom is tall, thing, blond, and beautiful. (So is Helena. I got the short, brown and dumpy genes. Why?! 5) Nobody in my family takes me seriously” (Littman, 9). Most young girls this age are going through this exact identity stage. They don’t like who they are and they want to change it. Justine is almost jealous at the fact that her friend Mac is catholic. At one point in the book, her friend Mac had left a silver cross necklace at her house and instead of returning it back to Mac, Justine lied and said she didn’t see it. “I put on the necklace, and feel a familiar pang of guilt. I haven’t worked out if it’s because I lied to Mac or whenever I put it on, I picture the look on Bubbe’s face if she ever saw me wearing it” (Littman, 12). This is the point in the novel where it describes her ‘closet confessions.’ She confesses her sins in her dark closet with a teddy bear. She’s pretending to be someone she is not. “I pretend I look like a nun, instead of an eleven-going-on-twelve-year-old Jewish girl with a dinner napkin on her head” (Littman, 11).
Justine’s family is considered to be “twice a year” Jews. I have heard this term before and I consider myself to be a “twice a year” catholic. It’s interesting to hear Justine say that one of the reasons why she wants to be catholic is because “Catholic families are more normal than Jewish ones.” (Page 21). I don’t necessarily agree on any level with what she said, and I actually don’t think does either. She kind of contradicts herself later on by saying that, “There aren’t that many of my friends’ moms with whom I can imagine sitting around on my bed having hot chocolate and cookies. I can’t even imagine doing it with my mom, because I’d be so worried about spilling my drink or getting crumbs on the bedspread. But it seems cozy and natural doing it with Mrs. Weinstein and Shira” (Littman, 62-3). Well, if she can be this comfortable with Shira and her mother, why are Catholic families more normal?
I’m kind of glad the term “twice a year” Jew came up in this book. Not only can I relate to this term, but it also gives me more connections to the book. I am both, Catholic and Jewish because my mom is Catholic and my dad is Jewish. It has always been this way. I feel like I am both, a “twice a year” Catholic and “twice a year” Jew. But does this mean that I am not accepted into the church or synagogue less than everyone else? I don’t think so.
I think it’s hard for anyone to find their own identity and I think what Justine is going through is completely normal. She doesn’t feel comfortable with her religion or her family. The one person in her family that she is afraid to tell the truth about her feelings about religion is her Bubbe. And in the end, her Bubbe is the only one in her family that understands what she’s going through. “I decided to give up being Jewish for Lent” (Littman, 103). Her mother screams and yells back at her while her Bubbe stays calm and responds with, “‘Adele, leave her,’’It’s not such a big thing. All children go through a time of questioning. It’s natural. Actually, I think questioning is a sign of intelligence” (Littman, 103-4). It isn’t until the end of the book when she receives the Star of David necklace from her Bubbe that she feels accepted, whole and complete.
